whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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