Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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