Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
