Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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