I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
