remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
