At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My vagina is officially offended.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
