Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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