How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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