i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
