Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
