I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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