I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
