I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
