you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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