what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize