So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
