Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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