i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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