listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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