They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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