Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize