what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize