Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
