I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
