why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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