Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
