well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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