is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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