I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
