I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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