Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
