how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
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she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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