Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
