I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
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He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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