My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
