Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
