Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
