What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
