So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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