I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
