Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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