Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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