Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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