fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Couch. On fire.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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