I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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