Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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