Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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