i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
