dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
