Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
