He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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