my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
