Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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