things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
