is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize