Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
