i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
