i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
