okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
